Odd things I say to my child - vol. 2

• "Mommy sings about happy things, like boogers and unicorns."  (While explaining to him that Rihanna's music is not appropriate for little kids.)
• "It's time for 2nd breakfast...just like the Hobbits!"
• "Awwww. You look like a Muppet."  (Overheard Mike saying this to Liam one night.)
• "Not to get all German fairy tale on you, but if you try to stick your hand into Mommy's mouth when she's eating an Oreo, you'll probably lose a finger."
• "Let's kill piggies!" (In my defense, I was about to play Angry Birds.)
• "It's a burping, burping, burping song.  A burping, burping, burping song. Burping, burping, burping, burping song..."  (Because singing during unpleasant activities magically makes them fun.  I have songs for bathing, drying off, and snot-sucking as well.)